Just an Ordinary Day|
[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Saturday, October 15th, 2005|
|Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
Freshman year had been the hardest of Danielle’s life, and if it had been the worst, her sophomore year was definitely the best. Slowly but surely she regained her strength, and was back at SHS by the beginning of November. Having Adam by her side, her best friends Vanessa and Charlotte, and a newly formed friendship with Tiffany and Mike certainly helped.
Toward the end of the school year, Danielle attended Adam’s junior prom, an event she’d never forget after losing her virginity to him that night. They became even closer after that. So close that Danielle began to feel smothered and rushed. Breaking it off with Adam was one of the hardest things she’d had to do, but she let him go.
For a while, she did whatever she could to get him off of her mind. Dating various guys, including Mike Hoffmeister, throwing herself into her sports, and attacking her guitar practice with a vengeance, Danielle was almost
able to ignore the heartache she felt when Adam left for college.
A year later, she, too, went to college, majoring in business at the University of Connecticut on a lacrosse scholarship. During the summer before her senior year, she was offered an internship with a marketing company, and she accepted. They hired her full time immediately on graduation, and within six months had transferred her to Chicago.
In Chicago, she ran into an old friend…( A reunion of sortsCollapse )
During their initial meeting, the conversation was tense, and slightly awkward, but they soon found they still had much in common. Before long, their meetings turned into dates, then slowly went from late nights to early mornings. Danielle knew without a doubt that she was just as madly in love with Adam then as she had been at fifteen, perhaps moreso, as she had the maturity to love unconditionally. It wasn’t long before she started hoping for more.
And she was pleasantly rewarded!( The game of a lifetimeCollapse )
Their wedding was only six months later. The couple remained in Chicago at first, but neither felt it was truly home. When they began to discuss plans for a baby, Danielle’s past health situations came up. Because of the radiation she’d gone through, and her concerns of passing on genetics, they chose to adopt their baby, a little Chinese girl adopted through Love Bundles. Together, they made the decision to ask Byron and Vanessa to be the godparents.
By that time, Adam’s baseball career had skyrocketed, and Danielle relocated to Stoneybrook to raise the baby, and still traveled to as many games as she could. Never losing her love of sports-or Adam-she remained active in his career until his retirement. She also volunteered for cancer research, eventually funding “Star Search”, a foundation to search for a cure for childhood leukemia. In her spare time? She coached a children’s lacrosse team!
|Thursday, September 29th, 2005|
|Best. News. Ever.
Just a few more days...
I won't be able to start school right away. Maybe not even for a few weeks. My winter sports season is screwed. But I'll be home. MY home. In MY bed, with MY dog and MY cat, and MY family all around. I can see Adam as much as I want to, run over to see Char and Vanessa easily...
OK, so maybe not "run" over. God, I'm exhausted. This whole thing has just drained me. But one more treatment...
I'm not telling anyone yet. It's too easy for them to change their minds and go, "You know what, Danielle? That remission we thought you were in? Yeah, we were kidding. Hop back in the chair, let's pump you full of more chemo." I couldn't stand doing that to anyone, especially Adam. He's been amazing through this. I only wish I'd told him sooner.
And this...very weird developing...friendship? Something to that effect. Anyway, this thing with Tiffany--it's weird. It's like we buried the hatchet-and not in each other's backs. Mike, too. And they-oh, man, don't even want to think about it.
Yet-I kind of do. OH I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST WROTE THAT!!!!!!!! I have to go watch, like, Finding Nemo or something with the kids down the hall to repent! Current Mood: exhausted
|Friday, July 8th, 2005|
|Monday, June 20th, 2005|
|I've Felt This Way Before
No. Not again. Please no. I thought we’d beat it this time. I thought it was over and done. I’d just gotten my life back to normal-I’m caught up in school, I’ve got friends I trust, I’m finally starting to get through to Mom about my sports, and Adam...
How could I have let myself be so careless? Why did I even bother? I’m such an idiot. I’ve known all along I was a ticking time bomb. But it’s been a year since my last relapse, and I guess I thought I was home free.
Mom’s waiting downstairs now for me so we can go get checked in at Stoneybrook General. Again. Like I’ve never done this before, right? I have to e-mail Char and Vanessa and let them know what’s going on. And Adam…I don’t know what to do. It just started to seem like everything was perfect there. Despite everything I ever said to Mike and Tiffany, I really like him. And that kiss was just…wow. But leukemia and chemo are not pretty things to go through. It’s harsh, it’s painful, and it’s downright ugly. I can’t ask him to sit through that. I can’t ask a guy like him to wait for me. And he shouldn’t have to, either. As much as I’d love to-as much as I could really use someone like him by my side through this-I have to let it go. Maybe
when I go into remission, maybe if he’s still interested and still single, I’ll explain everything and ask for another chance.
But right now? No. He deserves better. Even though letting him go is going to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.
And with any luck at all, since it’s summer, no one has to know. I don’t need anyone’s pity right now. Just understanding. And unfortunately most people don’t know how to give one without the other. Current Mood: scared
|Wednesday, May 25th, 2005|
|Who Needs Shelter
Ugh. Just found out they scheduled my checkup and blood work for June 20. Only two days after
the DMB concert with Adam. At least they didn't do it beforehand, because doctor's offices wear me out. Plus school will be over by then, thank goodness.
Summer can come anytime now, really. Abby mentioned a soccer camp, and that sounds kind of fun, but I can't see Mom agreeing to let me go. She had enough of a fit about the hockey clinic, and that was two days. So I just won't mention it at all-with my luck if I did I'd get told no, but Greg would be allowed to go. Stupid double standards.
Now that the lacrosse season is over, I'm pretty much bored. Going to the movies with the girls this weekend, so that will be fun.
I'm worried about Vanessa. She doesn't seem much like herself lately. I've never heard her so down on her family. It almost sounds like she doesn't want Byron to come home, but that's so weird. And I have to talk myself out of mentioning it to Adam. Vanessa trusts me. So no matter how concerned I am, must keep my big mouth shut. Current Mood: annoyed
|Wednesday, April 27th, 2005|
|I Am Barely Breathing
I guess it's wrong to be just 5'2, small-framed, and ready to kill someone. I think I'm one of those people who most people don't expect to put up a fight. They look at how small I am (is it my fault chemo stunts your growth?) and think, "Oh, she's just a little thing, I can take her." And that's just verbally!
People have no idea the mouth on me-I think I completely blew Adam away yesterday. I probably came on too strong, and I know he was kidding about his comment about broken nails and stuff. But I just get so irritated when people tell me what I can and can't do. That's not their place to decide. And I DO have interests outside of sport. Music, for one, but also dancing, and reading, and just being alive-when some people say that it probably sounds cheesy as hell, but coming from someone who’s looked death in the eye a few times...that’s probably not that far a jump.
That’s something Tiffany Kilbourne would never understand. Honestly, Sara and Char and Vanessa, and Becca...they don’t either, really. But at least they try. Then again, that’s something I respect about Tiffany. She’s at least never acted like she had to walk on eggshells around me. Of course, most of the time that leaves me wanting her dead, but still.
Boys suck. Except Adam, but that’s different. Wait-no it’s not. But the look in his eyes when Mike started in on us yesterday... It was defensive. Protective. How can a girl as independent as me find that instinct in him...well, very cute? I think that feeling that went through me when I touched him yesterday-I think that kinda proves Tiffany wrong on one count-I'm most DEFINITELY not gay. Current Mood: aggravated
|Monday, April 11th, 2005|
|It's NOT a Date
So...wow. It turns out Adam Pike and I are going to the concert...alone! Imagine one of those cartoon characters with their eyes bugging out of their heads. That was me when Friday night came and he was still the only one interested. I even e-mailed him to give him an out, and he was really cool about it.
This is not a date. Who makes plans for dates...two and a half months in advance?? He's just a cute guy with great taste in music. Did I just say cute? Crap. I didn't mean to say cute. But...well, he is. Anyway, no matter what-still not a date.
Apparently everyone saw Tiffany the Bitch making out with Mike the Jerk the other night at the movies. Don't know what would've been more nauseating. Watching Sin City
*shudder* or watching the two of them? As if the movie's not bad enough?
Game tonight, need to go get ready. YAY! Current Mood: bored
|Wednesday, April 6th, 2005|
Why? Why do I let Tiffany Freaking Kilbourne get under my skin like that??
Oh, I don't know, couldn't be because she's pretty, popular, has plenty of money, a gorgeous boyfriend, and, oh yeah by the way, has probably never been sick a day in her life. What would Miss Perfect know about all of that gorgeous blond hair falling out, or spending days on end attached to a garbage can, so nauseous you can barely move? What would she think waking up in the morning to see her perfect face swollen from steroids?
Besides...Adam's cuter than Jordan anyway. Oh, I know they're identical, but he's so much nicer, and more approachable. He and Byron both are like that. And Mike...ever arrogant Mike...what's to say about him? Except-I kind of have to admit, I like the attention. Then of course there's the ever adorable and very athletic (I love that in a man!) Jeff Schafer...
Oh good Lord, Danielle...tomboys aren't supposed to be boy crazy! What's with me lately?
So now, with that horrible thought in my head, I'm going to go attempt to learn the guitar part to Ants Marching, because screw everyone else, I love Dave! Current Mood: infuriated
|Monday, March 28th, 2005|
|Dear Mom: Back Off... Love, Danielle
So...hockey clinic on Saturday, right? Should've been a load of fun, the coaches were awesome, I picked up some awesome skating tips, and Jeff Schaefer was there, too, so I had someone to hang out with.
So...why couldn't I have any fun? Because Mom stayed. The entire time. The only time she left was when we took a lunch break, because even when we were just taking 15 minute breaks, I was on the ice trying to land a double lutz. (I know, good skaters my age have been doing those for years, but I'm a few years behind!)
She's paranoid and it's killing me. Fortunately the other kids at the clinic were really cool and didn't tease me for having my Mommy there, but what if someone had? With her right behind me, I couldn't really punch anyone.
I'm SO glad Nessa's sleepover is this weekend. I've got to get out of this house, they're stifling me in here. I had to beg Mom to let me go, but I think she's cool with it, since it's at the Pikes. Current Mood: irritated
|Friday, March 25th, 2005|
|Dear Mom, You're Ruining My Life
I read a book with that title in like, 2nd or 3rd grade and I laughed. Then not long after, I was diagnosed, and suddenly I knew what the narrator meant.
I know she's scared, I'm not stupid. I'm scared, too! I don't want to die. And everytime a cancer patient relapses, it gets harder to obtain a remission. But keeping me from running and jumping and swimming and hiking isn't going to make my cancer go away. In fact, Dr. Lewiston said it would help me to stay active and physical. Track she doesn't mind, and swimming she's okay with. But any contact sport-even tennis-freaks her out. So lacrosse pretty much gives her the heebie jeebies big time.
It still pisses her off that Dad signed the permission slip without telling her. I saw her on the sidelines watching practice the other day, and I swear her face was pale white. And now she's horrified because I plan to go to the hockey clinic on Saturday.
I don't get what the big deal is, and it's NOT FAIR. Greg can climb trees, skateboard, and play basketball and it's not an issue. When he signed up for the clinic, Mom started joking about athletic scholarships.
She won't even let me send away for college info. Why do I get the feeling when the time comes, I'll be stuck at SU? UConn if I'm lucky.
I wish I could talk to Char, but she seems to distracted lately... Maybe Vanessa? I just wish I knew what I was doing. Current Mood: crappy